Remember when we had that Courtship & Marriage class in college. The professor listed off some variations on the typical we-live-together marriage, mentioning that "commuter marriages" were becoming more popular. Two people, living in separate cities, leading separate lives, except for the small issue of their souls being bonded together for life in holy matrimony. We rolled our eyes at the ridiculousness of it. Now the world has thrust it upon us, and it still seems ridiculous.
This is my first letter to you from the Department Of Really Spiritual And Life-changing Fellowship INitiatives, alson known as D.O.R.S.A.L. F.IN. It took me 3 days to make that acronym up. You should have seen the ones that I rejected. As of right now, I'm the only member, which makes this a very secret group. You can be in it if you want, maybe take notes at the meetings or something.
I delivered Meals On Wheels to some elderly, house-bound folks, earlier today. Or, rather, I thought I delivered Meals On Wheels. I caught a glimpse of the volunteer instructions as I was wrapping up the last delivery, and it turns out I was actually delivering Meals Via Wheels. Now, I don't usually care about brand names, but I felt more than a little duped. All this time I thought I was involving myself in a designer charity, only to find out later I was hood-winked into doing good deeds for a knock-off.
After that, I got taken out to lunch -- again -- and then received a very interesting lesson on how to properly format expense reports. Turns out, anyone can format an expense report, but only a very small number of people have the wherewithal to do it properly. I fear I am not in that very small number. In time, they will all know this. But for now I have decided to let people believe I am a smart and capable person. I have a bet with myself to see whether this ruse can last as long as the vase of flowers on the window sill.
You are missed.
I Heart You.
